Love is a Start....The Real Challenges of Raising Children with Emotional Disorders (Revised Edition)

This book is for parents who are raising children with brain-based disorders. The disorder might be Autism, Aspberger's Syndrome, Attention Deficit, Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity, Neurologically Based Learning Disabilities, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Clinical Depression or Bi-Polar Manic Depression.

Typically, children with these disorders struggle in their ability to learn the activities of daily living such as: dressing, hygiene, grooming, and academics. In the older child there is a struggle to engage in purposeful activity, problem, solve, follow-through, and cope with stress. In adulthood these difficulties show themselves in such things as a lack of safety awareness, poor money management, and poor judgement in general, which will have an impact on the individual's ability to live independently. In a very broad way, these life skills can also be thought of as adaptive skills.

Unknown to many is that at the heart of each of these brain-based disorders is something called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Sensory Integration Dysfunction is a term used to define the brain's inability to integrate for use the information received from the senses of movement, touch, sight, sound, taste, and smell. Since all information that requires higher level thinking enters the brain by way of these sensory routes, it is critical that the human brain be able to receive correctly, or at least tolerate, input from the senses. Occupational therapists trained in treating Sensory Integration Dysfunction strive to help the child not only tolerate sensory input, but also to integrate it for use and thus promote optimal brain health, growth, and development. Granted, brain-based disorders are disorders for life; we cannot fix them. However, studies have found that when treated also with Sensory Integration Therapy, these disorders can be impacted by degrees so that adaptive life skills can be learned all the while the nervous system is maturing. This can mean independent living with supervision one day for the adult with a disability. It can mean an age appropriate child being able to stay home alone safely for several hours. It can mean a child being able to let himself into an empty house at the end of the school day without fear. It can mean a child going to school, tying her shoes, making a sandwich, and participating in social groups. It can mean a family living a relatively normal life and in harmony with the child with the disability.

Living in harmony with a child with Sensory Integration Dysfunction can be especially challenging. Unlike children who have noticable physical handicaps, Sensory Integration Dysfunction is a hidden disorder. Too many people (parents and professional alike) do not know what it looks like, as was the case with Shilts; the author of this book. As an adoptive parent, Shilts loved her child as much as any birth parent does. She had the best of intentions. Her problem was ignorance. Ignorance about Sensory Integration Dysfunction and its impact on behaviors as well as its impact on the parent-child relationship. Some children with Sensory Integration Dysfunction can have problems building and maintaining personal relationships in general. For children with severe Sensory Integration Dysfunction (as was the case with Shilts' child) it can be impossible. An intimate relationship, such as that between parent and child (and later a mate), requires the ability to give and take in a reciprocal way. Shilts knew early on that there was something missing in the relationship-something she coult not define-which was the child's inability to give love back.

Shilts struggled for a long time with the traditional techniques thought to be helpful to children who do not relate to others. But it wasn't until she realized her child's problem was with the brain rather that the spirit that she was able to move forward; to start "thinking outside of the box." Parents and therapists in many other states were using cognitive remediation/brain development techniques and strategies to help children like hers. She did not have to accept that nothing could be done. So she set to work to help her child. And help him she did. It was a spiritual journey as well as an educational one as she had to have faith in something she could not always see: the development of a child from the inside out. She also learned that she alone was the best advocate for her child.

This book is inspirational for parents. Shilts' children are now in adolescence and leading full and productive lives. Shilts is in private practice teaching other parents in her area how they too can bring nature and nurture together to develop the child from the inside out. And because the artist in her lives to create, she works on a novel in her spare time.

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